No matter who it was – it may have been your mother, father, sibling, or it might have been the partner that was supposed to be close to you. It doesn’t matter how deep you think the relationship is either.
Time to ditch the lies and tell you an uncomfortable truth:
You never had a relationship with the narcissist.
It might have been months, years or sadly, whole lifetimes that have passed between you, but the association you currently have (or used to had) with the narcissist didn’t exist. It never did.
In a normal relationship, there’s is supposed to be an exchange of emotions (high and low), shared interests and concerns, above all there should be empathy and respect for each other.
Narcissists don’t give a fuck about empathy or respect. As far as they are concerned, you are a non-person, an “it”, an object to be used, abused and dropped like an expensive toy for a spoiled two year old toddler.
Narcissists don’t change their behaviour. They are an empty shell, consumed by anger, hate and envy, and are always on the lookout for new targets to exploit.
I have to remind myself regularly that the flesh conduit that gave birth to me still has no empathy (but expects you to hand over heart, soul and mind to her) and worse still, after 30-odd years, admitting to self that there was never a relationship between us is a extremely tough one to accept.
There is, however a great opportunity to develop a relationship with yourself. If you’ve had enough of an abusive, non relationship with somebody that isn’t capable of one, take the chance to seek yourself and nurture the relationship of a lifetime – with yourself.
Tools to help you out: