Yep, not all of your haters are random folk passing by in the course of your life, but the ones in your very midst.
So, what to do when your haters are family?
Chances are if youte the scapegoat, they already are hating on you big time. But extended family? Yep
See, the narcissist family members, led by thr narcissist mother triangulates (meaning to turn one member against another) indirectly by slander, and usually when they are not present. so the target of the slander is unaware of it. Eventually the pther family members see the target in the way the narcissist wants them to seen them – a worthless, pile of crap.
Extended family members can also play the role of flying monkey, a recruiter designed to send the narcissist’s poison via proxy. It could be a mesage containing the narcissist’s favourite tactics (fear, obligation and guilt) or they are genuinely naïve enough to be helping the target, even though they are actually enabling the abuse.
Family as haters isnt exclusive to narcissistic families, but they tend to be highly emotionally abusive. You dont need that kind of global gaslighting in your life.
Yes, you share DNA, culture and history. But your future is yours alone. The saddest thing is family should be a kind and supportive environment, yet flesh and blood can and will turn on each other.
The thing that has helped me in my life is close friends. Substitute family, often dont come from blood but are closer to you than any biological family can ever be. Another option is starting your own family from scratch – with the warning that you MUST heal your own past through therapy and vow to treat your children differently.
Failing those two options – volunteering, looking after vulnerable children or seniors, pets or meditation.
Haters gonna hate – and it hurts when family are doing the hating. But you dont have to hate yourself. In fact, the amount that they hate you, is the amount you must love yourself.