The great thing about recovery from the narcissistic regime is, once you’re outside it for a while (because you’ve escaped and are recovering in your own time), you can quickly discern the bad apples in your life. Friends, work colleagues, partners, random people all of a sudden become intolerable because of attitudes, behaviors and habits, that raise Big red flags.
You are now sick to your stomach when you discover that your employer speaks to you in a derogatory fashion; that friend that stood you up an hour before your night out, because she forgot to attend to her cat; that room mate that smokes inside when it’s clearly against housing regulations…
Why do we accept such crappy behaviour from others? Does it remind us of the exact same treatment over several years from our parents and we just gotten used to it? Aren’t we deserving of being shouted at? Sworn at? Spat at? Insulted? Disregarded? After all, that’s what we’re used to, right? Why ask for any better?
Time to build yourself up and to stop putting up with other people’s bullshit.
How dare anyone speak to you like that?
You absolutely deserve to be treated with respect, because you are learning to respect yourself and thus are demanding of the same from others.
We get treated the way we carry ourselves too. If we give off uncomfortable vibes, because we haven’t yet achieved the state of self confidence, unfortunately we can invite scumbags to treat us like crap. So it’s essential to develop self esteem and self acceptance, for your own protection.
Isn’t that selfish, though?
Yes, it’s selfish to think about how you feel badly about being treated like a disposable wipe by others. Do it anyway.
Yep, is selfish to want a share of what you’re entitled to, just like evrybody else. Do it anyway.
Yep, it’s selfish to walk away from bad treatment from others. Do it anyway.
People show you who they are. Pay careful attention.
You’ve spent a lot of time and energy convincing yourself that the boss didn’t mean that demeaning joke, that’s the way he is. Your girlfriend is out of control because you told her an uncomfortable truth about herself, but you love her anyway. That random beggar swore at you because you don’t have any spare change, but you let it go, hes having it tough.
Just spending that time to consider your own feelings and listening to them, can go a long way to respecting yourself and building up your self-esteem and self-confidence. You absolutely deserve respect from others and yourself.
Don’t put up with anyone’s bullshit.