Yeah, thats what I said.
Just like yourself.
I know thats a tough task for you right now. See, your time within the narcissistic regime, whether it’s your mother, father, siblings… or even your partner, boss or some other random has left you a little beaten up and your self concept tarnished. That was on purpose. The whole point of narcissistic abuse is for one person to overwhelm and control your own perception of yourself so you get to hate yourself on your own time. Once the self hate is installed it is easy for the abuser to continue with the power games, in order to get their selfish kicks out ouf you.
The last thing a narcissist wants is for you to enjoy your own company. In fact, doing so is the very opposite to being a target of abuse.
So how do you start to like yourself? Well, first step – it starts in the mind. Maybe just open yourself up to the possibility that the unhealthy environment you’re in has contributed to an unhealthy mindset, one which is easy to chamge. You arrived at this point with several years of toxicity in your head, which will need to be purged out.
The second step is to find the best tools in order change those faulty thinking patterns – ones which basically amount to « I hate myself ».
Third step is simply find activities and hobbies which reflect this new attitude of « I like myself ». Maybe you like yoga? Painting? Or perhaps you like the outdoors. Maybe activities that work the body like climbing takes your fancy? Whatever.
The basic idea here is to really enjoy your own company and to wean yourself off the idea that your identity and survival depends wholly on anothr person. It was probably true as a 2 year old – its completely false now as a grown adult. Personally, its taken quite a while – 37 years to understand this fact.
Codependency thrives on the idea that « I need someone to validate me ». What that idea really means is « I cannot take care of myself ». Liking yourself is the antidote to codependency and can go a really long way in ending the narcissist regime in ypur life – it’ll make ypu narc-proof! But only if you do the brave thing and change your mind.
Resources are available on the TOOLS page.