Whilst we acknowledge that the narcissist had made you feel inadequate and unworthy, the real truth is, you are stronger than you realise. Why? No one sane enough would think of continually insulting and tearing down somebody that they are superior to, yet that’s what the narcissist regime has done to you.. It has taken a prolonged, sustained campaign of slow, heavy duty, torture style tactics over several years to get to where you are today.
The great news is, it doesn’t take years for the damage to be reversed. Immediate relief can be felt the second you go no contact. Boundaries and assertive skills can be learnt within a month. Complex PTSD treatment has a range of tools available to calm and soothe the soul quite quickly.
You can get to the stage where external stimuli that would otherwise be triggering will no longer send you into a toxic shame spiral leaving you feeling shitty for days afterwards. Better yet, your emerging self confidence and strong boundaries immunises yourself against attempted narc attacks. Add this to your fact that you survived the effects of a personality disordered individual and you are a spiritual warrior.
Please get to this stage of your life as soon as is practical, because the rewards of strength in yourself are very worthwhile. You can be the strongest person you know.
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