I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it – Narcissist Mother
The narcissistic mother rules her family with an iron will and a fist of iron.
The narcissist mother is severely lacking empathy for the child, as the child is growing up and asserting their burgeoning independence, it’s cut off at the root. Self expression is squashed before is given a chance to flourish.
The purpose of your existence is to be her emotional garbage can. You’re lined up with your extreme opposite, the golden child, the positive reflection.
The narcissist mother creates a dependency on the child, even the scapegoat. She needs you, even though she hates your guts.
Everyone outside the family is a threat. A loving teacher, a friend from next door, other women. The outside world is full of dangers, you might get kidnapped or killed! The reason is they have to isolate the child from external sources of self, so that the child is utterly alone in the world.
The narcissist mother is opinionated, try listening to her regarding politics, religion, race and anything happening in the news. Her mind is fixed.
The child cannot feel: he’s full of great, terror and anxiety, because the mother had restricted him physically and emotionally.
Often the narcissist mother is coupled with a man who is the husband, either he is completely supine and beaten up by the wife verbally, or he’s had his masculinity challenged and he decides to live up her diabolical image and participate in the abuse. There’s no escape.
People-pleasing the mother is like a ball and chain. Can’t move. Walking on egg shells, trying not to trigger her rage and anger.
If you don’t do what she says, it’s the physical abuse, it’s the gaslighting, it’s the fear and terror, it’s being smeared to extended family members and the flying monkeys come to put you back in line.
All to avoid the one fear she has.
Abandonment.
The solution for you: inner child healing. Trauma resolution through C-PTSD healing. Shame and guilt removal. Boundaries, self-esteem. Hypnosis CDs, downloads, EMDR therapists…
Resources on the TOOLS page.
Learning to Fall 
Michel.
I can totally relate to this because I have been through this with my real mum.
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Quincy,
It’s sad, yet at the same time, did we expect too much from our mothers? Did they do us a favour by showing us the wrong way? Time will tell…
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Concur. I was cursed with a mother like this as well. All of us black men have. To be born to a Negress is the curse. Thankfully I broke the chains in high school. I will immediately help to deprogram my brother when the happy day arrives when she stops breathing.
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This is every Black man’s ultimate curse, to be born as a convenience and hated for being alive. Then the responsibility is on us to rise above the debris just to breathe and live. Life is often unfair, but it’s the innocent ones that get the worst punishment.
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